Immediately following more 24 months out of dipping inside and out regarding OKCupid, it offers slowly dawned into the me that (not absolutely all, you nitpickers) female, 29-38, who possess pages on that website get into four wider categories (zero steer clear of the):

Zero, the fresh “Guyly-Man,” according to the advertising wizards, is actually an unshaven, overgrown fratboy likely to bellowing incoherently and high-fiving their Token Black Pal over just how shiny their vehicle is actually or how well he believes his pisswater light beer tastes

#step 1. The Whirlwind “Take their passport, let’s take a trip!! Where? Any-fucking-where! It doesn’t matter, due to the fact I’m version of an empty layer, and lingering actions is superior to sitting however and you will listening to the new booming emptiness that’s my personal personality!” Snowboarding about cold weather, wakeboarding in the summer, the latest Whirlwind does not have any determination for silky, inactive reflection, it’s go-wade-wade. She’s going to run you toward an earlier grave if you attempt to keep track their particular, which is good ’cause your own early passing brings their unique longer for stone-hiking and you will travel to Ireland.

#2. The brand new Girly-Girl She matches all of the stereotypes. They are the girls the “oppressed men” in beer ads are often seeking to getting away from, and with good reason. Especially noteable due to their seriously appalling taste in all kinds of prominent people, the Dvd cupboards is actually groaning that have titles for example Dirty Moving and you can The laptop, in addition to their ipod playlists is actually chock full out-of Jack Johnson, Keith Metropolitan, and you can Colbie Caillat. They truly are smart, but they never ever screen an enthusiastic iota of rational curiosity. (Warning: She’s going to eventually grow to be The newest Castrating Shrew, but that’s an alternative number of groups.)

Thus zero fits in my situation

[Front side Mention: I was thinking the fresh new “Girly-Girl” are a good Madison Opportunity cliche, a creature current only since the an antagonist about a lot more than-mentioned commercials, however, these include demonstrably online. I guess their reverse count ‘s the “Peoplely-People,” but it is no longer the tough, square-jawed Marlboro People types of. ]

#step three. The new Pretentious Graduate Scholar She may have graduated long ago, but never leftover the latest mindset at the rear of. Extremely, really brilliant – even more very than just you, yes, you scruffy fuck – however, hasn’t laughed out loud from inside the an excellent pet’s years. (An exceptionally pithy Jon Stewart quip or trenchant The fresh Yorker anime could possibly get mark an effective wry smirk.) Studying list includes hefty volumes to the socio-governmental situations, otherwise Gabriel Garcia Marquez books. She pays attention so you’re able to jazz, otherwise Brazilian folks, or simply just any appears on the NPR’s Outdoors one time (who’s returning to sounds when there’s factors?) She enjoys Thai food, or is vegetarian, otherwise Goodness allow us to, veggie. She tend to has a small amount of the brand new Whirlwind in her, seeing a periodic escape to your “real” culture of European countries, otherwise certain oppressed Latin-american banana republic. Their own Facebook reputation photo for another web baДџlantД±sД±na bir gГ¶z atД±n 1 . 5 years would be their own in front of some Mayan ruins within the large shoes and you may good hemp rucksack. Simply speaking, she is completely insufferable.

#4. The newest “I’m-Just-A-Country-Girl” Entire lotta such lurking up to. She possesses Tim McGraw and you may/otherwise contemporary Religious Cds (hasn’t purchased a music player yet ,). Has hiking. Probably voted having Bush, double, in the event it happened to help you their own in order to vote anyway. Stupid once the a drilling fencepost.

I apparently fall amongst the cracks (once more, zero prevent the) of them groups. The brand new 21-twenty eight seasons olds have their own set of groups, which can be embryonic items of all the above (the actual only real distinction is the 30-38 seasons olds keeps very good work), with the addition of Cluster Girl, Faux-Hippie Girl, and you may Commonly-I-Nerdy/Wacky?-Girl.